Compromise

I seem to be in project mode. But my project mode is quite different from my husbands. His looks like this:

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Mine looks like this:

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And we compromise and do this:

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I say compromise because pickled asparagus is disgusting. Actually, pickled anything including pickles completely gross me out. But I did the good wife thing and said “yes honey I’ll help”. Quickly followed by “if this makes my house stink like pickles were done”.

Now I must tell you not only do I not like pickles I absolutely hate the smell to the point that hubby only recently got pickle privileges back. Now get your mind out of the gutter, and I’ll explain.

Back in the day before we got married we were living in the cute little cottage I called the doll house. It was so tiny our living room furniture consisted of a papasan chair and a hope chest with cushions on it. So anyway, the fridge had one shelf on the door that the tray had broken on so it was just a shelf with no rail. Obviously we didn’t use this shelf. Apparently hubby was moving stuff around in the fridge and set the pickles on the shelf then not thinking about it closes the door. Is he the next one to open the fridge, oh no, it was me. As you can imagine pickle jar falls out breaks splashing pickle juice everywhere. The house stunk! It was awful. So needless to say, I banned pickles. Happy wife happy life right? He accepted my crazy and we moved on. So for reasons that may fall into crazy, I’m hesitant to bring pickled anything into my space. But, homestead-ish wife, blah blah blah.

So “we’ve” been gardening:

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pickling:

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and modifying:

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You’re doing it wrong

You’re doing it wrong

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So with all the changes and all the stress my parenting skills have been sadly lacking. I’ll admit I’ve let my son basically do whatever, as long as it wasn’t going to get him hurt. And with the extra stress and craziness from work, once I get home my patience is zilch, which is great when you have a 5 year old. Oh, and to top it off, I have quite the reactive personality. So I tend to have a short fuse and go 0 to 60 in a snap, another great quality as a mom.

My poor kid hasn’t had the easiest go either these last couple months. Starting early February his normal daycare person took time off for family reasons, and he had to go to the back-up sitter. Back up #1 couldn’t watch all the time so he started at back up #2. Original daycare person then had another life change, and is now moving to Oklahoma, and by association so is my son’s best friend. Backups 1&2 are 20 miles away so I talked friends and came up with new in town sitter. So in less than 3 months my son has had 4 sitters plus a week with my sister.

Like many kids, especially at this age, my son loves to get reactions. And as much as I hate to do it, I give him a show every time he tries. I don’t even make him work that hard. But, in fairness, how annoying is “can I please have a cup of water, can I please have a cup of water, can I please have a cup of water, can I please have a cup of water”. It’s been 30 seconds, ask once!!! Or the always classic response to get from a misbehaving kid, “no”. WTF! Do not tell me no!

Hindsights 20/20, well, given I’m judging myself maybe more like 20/50, a bit skewed. So after finding out yesterday that the bad behavior at daycare has become too much to handle, my kid has basically been put on probation and has a 1 week trial to see if he can stay. Now in fairness to my son, his daycare lady is actually a friend of a friend who is not a childcare provider, but a stay at home mom with a teething baby. Her patience are dwindling as well. My little town of Warden does not have one single licensed daycare provider; they don’t even have a preschool. Apparently the migrant head start is enough to cover the highest needs of the town. Well I’m not a migrant worker, so I’m out. All my backups are 20 miles away which makes it an additional 40 miles round trip morning and afternoon, plus they’re not in the school district and he starts school this year.

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So hubby and I have sat down to discuss our parenting strategy. I drew on every (what I once viewed as ridiculous) episode of nanny 911, and good parenting article I’ve read. We are going with the “time-out spot” tactic and focusing on consistency like our lives depend on it. The plan is that more serious infractions will get instant time-out, where the more minor – guilty of annoying people on purpose -infractions will get a warning, then a time out. Perhaps part of my problem is that I just referred to my son’s misbehaving as infractions – I better put that on the list to evaluate.

I have no idea where the crying will fall. My son cries, and I think that is my biggest struggle. I don’t get it. I’m not a crier, and as a kid, it really wasn’t allowed. For anything. He cries over everything from I got an invisible scratch, to you wouldn’t order ice cream from the Schwans man for me. I’m thinking tantrum crying will be time out, and “I gave you loves but don’t get why you’re crying for no reason” will be – go hang out in your bedroom.

So far, the time out thing seems to be working; he doesn’t want to stay in time out. Although I have to keep putting him back and saying “the timer will start once you stay in time out, and I will re-set it every time you get out”, I figure that shows he doesn’t like it. Another observation pulled from Nanny 911, those kids never want to stay in time out, then all of a sudden they get it and they start being good. Hey, at least I’m not pulling parenting advice from the roadrunner.

We are also working to be more consistent with routine and working toward more hands on parenting. I’ll admit we’ve been lacking. When my son was a baby he wasn’t in to the bedtime rituals of rocking or cuddling. You had to just set him in his crib and walk away. That has carried over throughout the years, and although we have a list of bedtime steps, we haven’t been too consistent, and normally its “get ready for bed”, and we might read a story or he may have taken too long and just has to go to bed. His big complaint is that we rush him, which I understand, I hate getting rushed.

Personally, I’m praying for patience and guidance.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

Randomness

You may or may not have noticed I haven’t posted for a bit. Things have been very hectic for me. Hubby is done working out of town for a bit, but with the Wanapum Dam combating “catastrophic failure”, he’s working a lot of OT. Actually it sounds like he will be working 7 days a week until June sometime. It’s actually quite amazing to see the river right now. It is so low that they have had to close it in this area. From what I hear there is actually quick sand, it’s very surreal. There are no docks that reach water, and Crescent Bar is screwed to say the least. But on the flip side, when people come to the area and say how “un-touched” the land is, they will be speaking closer to the truth. Anyway here’s a pic, and I’m moving on.

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Here’s a link if you’re still curious: http://www.grantpud.org/your-pud/media-room/wanapum-dam-spillway-response

The other day I was in Ephrata to take soccer team pictures. It was actually a fun experience. I was pretty worried at first, the grass was brown and the trees were still leafless, plus there were a lot of teams running around. Now, leafless trees may not sound too bad, but behind those trees are a city shop (i.e. road district equipment), a fire station, and some lesser awesome homes, one of which actually had a car jacked up in the front yard. The best bad option was the old “homestead” barn that is amazingly still standing and due to expansion is now in town.

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I was able to take the pictures from a slightly elevated angle so that I only had grass in the background, and with a little work in photoshop I was able to make the grass green-ish.

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On the way home I stopped by a little “Antique shop”, and I use quotes for a reason. The store has great finds, for cheap, but you have to combat a less than pleasant environment. But if you can get past the cat urine smell, dust and cobwebs, you can find great stuff.

This is Reiners (Ephrata, WA):

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Here are some finds:

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One thing I love about the man that owns the store is that I can go in and tell him what I’m looking for and he can find it. On my last trip I was looking for a snaffle bit to use as a dish towel holder. He found what I was looking for within minutes outside, though he did have to cut it out of the old leather bridle.

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Here is what things look like inside the store.

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